Beating the Fear of Failure
By Meg Sanchez
Entrepreneurs are one of my favorite groups ofpeople to coach. There’s a gutsy hustle and drive that’s magnetic and almostcontagious. You can’t sit with someone who’s chasing a big dream withoutquickly finding yourself scheming a vision of your own. Though there’s amisconception that this tribe is fearless, they are far from it. What they have learned however, is how to persistwhen faced with fear. Meaning, they’re courageous but not fearless.
Ico-hosted an event this week for DMV ShopTalk, which is a DC Startup Weekinitiative that brings new business owners together with experts who shareinfo, offer support and build community around tough to tackle topics. Therewas a lot of amazing conversation around fear and failure. Lo and behold, fearand failure also came up last Sunday as I was chatting with a few friends overdrinks.
Itake these repeat signs from the universe as an invitation to dive in andexplore!
Thefear of falling flat on your face as you try something new, well, it’sdownright paralyzing. Not just in an entrepreneurial sense, but in a total allhuman sense. There’s so much pressure to succeed (whatever that means!) we’veforgotten that failure is not only normal and expected, it’s a necessity. Ifyou want a different result you’ve got to make a different choice. Andsometimes it won’t work out.
Oneof my favorite life abiding quotes is by Rich Litvin: “Failing is not a problemyou will face. Failing is how you get there.”
Thatcertainly flips things on its side, to say that there’s no other way than tofail, and fail again. It may sound daunting, but perhaps also offers a bit ofrelief. We can’t go around, we can only go through. And no one, I mean no one,is an exception.
Whensomeone is attempting a new behavior, I often ask them to ‘try it on for size’ likea new shirt. See how it feels; see if it suits you. There’s no pressure toperform or make anything work. Try it on and hang it back up if you don’t digit.
Whatif we approached fear and adversity in the same way?
Release Expectations
“Ijust want to see what happens.”
Saythis out loud– to yourself, to your partner, to friends. When we release ourgrasp on controlling a specific outcome it can be surprising how resilient webecome. We’re quickly able to pivot in the face of adversity and see what thepositive takeaway might be.
Change the Metric For Success
Howare you gauging whether something is a failure or a win? Being a beginner canbe uncomfortable, and sometimes we place unrealistic expectations on ourselvesor an outcome. If you’re training for your first 5K, you can’t compare yourlevel of fitness to someone who’s been training for an Ironman for 16 months.You can’t compare month four of a new job to someone’s year four either. Itdoesn’t even make sense to try. What we can do however, is learn from thosewhose behavior we admire. They absolutely had their falls from grace along theway as well. Instead of compare and despair, observe and learn.
Talk About It
Iused to work in an environment where everyone was sharing their wins on theregular. There were some days when I looked around and wondered if I seriouslywas the only person who was struggling. Eventually, a few members on my teambegan openly sharing lessons learned at weekly meetings. It made theenvironment more relatable and took a load of weight off in terms of risk andreward.
Don’t Be a Victim
Thingsaren’t happening to you, they’re happening foryou. Always. Even when we can’t see the lesson or the positive intention of theexperience. Yes, we’re all entitled to woe is me moments. Plenty of themactually! But it will always be up to you as to how long you want to residethere.
Theprice of fear and failure is worth the reward of the win. Lean on those aroundyou to build your bravery and perseverance. You are always so much strongerthan you imagine.
Megan Sanchez is the owner ofUpSwing Health Coaching. She works one-on-one with busy professionals, workingparents and entrepreneurs who want to double their energy, revamp theirlifestyle and live purposefully. Megan helpspeople develop habits that are built on super small, everyday commitments tonutrition, movement, and personal nourishment that feel good because your bodytells you so, not because you’re following the latest trend. Sheloves both outdoor and urban adventures. She’s called DC home for 7 years.
To learn more, visit upswinghealthcoaching.com